One thing all college students have in common seems to be that we all go through one bad relationship/fling during our four years in these hallowed halls. This is a normal occurrence; we are young and therefore susceptible to making some questionable choices that one day we will look back on and laugh (or cry, whichever works). Despite the normalcy of this immaturity, there is one alarming trend that is not normal in the least. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Long-Term-Bad-Relationship. Making a bad choice and being miserable for a month or two is one thing, but being unhappy and in a constant state of tension for years on end is quite another.
Think about it, people. How many friends to do you have who fight with their significant other at least once a week? If you don’t have that friend, it’s probably you. Nobody wants to listen to you and your ill-suited boyfriend or girlfriend bicker and complain about each other. In case you haven’t noticed, this is a sure fire way to lose friends. If you need to bitch and complain about a person on a daily basis, get rid of them. Another big gripe I have with people in bad relationships: STOP FIGHTING IN PUBLIC! It’s just ridiculous and it makes everyone around you uncomfortable. If you are getting so mad at a person that you feel the need to scream at them in the middle of the street, you don’t belong together.
College students need to realize that their relationships now will most likely not determine the rest of their lives. Date someone during the years that you truly enter adulthood does not mean that it is a good idea to spend the rest of your life with that person. The definition of a NORMAL relationship seems to be slightly skewed with most people of collegiate age, so, here are a few things that are NOT normal (and that indicate that you need to break up):
1. Fighting once a week or more (especially in public).
2. Reaching out to friends only to complain about the person you are dating.
3. Losing contact with friends entirely (this means they are avoiding you).
4. Someone cheats (EVEN IF THEY/YOU WERE DRUNK) – it’s over; give it up!
5. You don’t like the person you are dating as a human being.
I know number five really seems like common sense but believe me, it’s an issue. I can think of two people off the top of my head that I’ve dated and didn’t actually like as human beings for a least a month before I finally took the steps to end the relationship.
People of all ages, but especially young people, have the tendency to stay in relationships for comfort rather than for happiness. They feel more secure being in a relationship, but also more miserable than they do being single and happy. This false sense of security can damage other relationships in your life, including those with friends who won’t want to see you if you are constantly upset over fights and family members who won’t trust you to make wise relationship choices in the future.
Don’t be afraid to reevaluate your current situation and dump someone if they are clearly making you miserable.