The Glee-cap returns! Apparently this show is still happening! Here’s our recap of episodes eleven through fourteen.
Episode 11 – “The Sue Sylvester Shuffle” – The zombie episode. In this episode, we learn the valuable lesson that the key to a winning football team is making them sing in the glee club with people they hate. Schue and Bieste devise this plan so the team will have “chemistry.” Obviously it’s important for everyone to get along and blah blah blah, but it seems to be asking a bit much to make the football team play in the football game, get into full makeup and costume, perform a half-time show, and then go back out and play more football. It just seems unreasonable. But hey, these kids have endured an inappropriate singing coach and a gym teacher that shoots people out of cannons, they can handle it.
From what I could gather, the theme of the episode was the tension between popularity and being yourself. Karofsky discovers he actually likes this glee thing, and the Cheerios realize their coach might actually kill them. What to do?! Admit to being wrong? Sacrifice a cheerleading competition to jump around half naked in front of the entire high school? Decision making in high school is hard.
The music numbers in this episode were pretty cool, including “She’s Not There” by The Zombies and a mashup of Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s “Heads Will Roll,” which featured Artie as the most terrifying zombie I’ve ever seen in my life. Seriously, it put The Walking Dead to shame.
Anyway, there is a scuffle and the football team quits so the half-time show (not to mention the championship game) can’t happen. The girls save the day by joining the football team so the game can go on. They perform the “lie on the ground so as to avoid being tackled by a man” strategy. And it works! The half-time show happens and everyone is all like, “Cool guys. We rule.”
Episode 12 – “Silly Love Songs” – The Valentine’s Day episode comes equipped with everything a television show about high school kids should: crushes on cute boys, finding the courage to ask a girl on a date, sex, betrayal and just about everything else. Quinn enjoys being the hot one almost as much as she enjoys talking through her nose, so she decides she wants two guys at once. She gets wind that Finn is over Rachel and pounces. This pisses off Santana because she has no one, and if she has no one, no one else should have someone. She engineers a plot to let Sam know that Quinn is cheating. Hint: it includes mono.
Kurt is convinced that Blaine is crushing on him and hopes that Blaine will ask him out for V-Day. Unfortunately Blaine has a crush on an unfortunate hair cut, belonging to the unfortunate Gap employee who is humiliated (and then fired) after Blaine serenades him in the middle of the store. Sometimes bursting out into song in public is okay, and sometimes it is totally not. There is a time and a place. And it is not during business hours at the Gap. Thank you, Glee.
Puck sings Lauren a song in the hopes of winning her heart, but instead his rendition of Queen’s “Fat Bottomed Girls,” offends her. Honestly, Puck could have sang this song to me while also just straight up calling me fat and I still would have accepted the date offer.
Other songs included Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T.” and Robin Thicke’s “When I Get You Alone.”
Episode 13 – “Comeback” – This episode is all about the Bieber. Sam is upset about losing Quinn, so he attempts to win her back with the infamous Bieber comb-over. And it works. Thus begins the Justin Bieber Experience, which includes Mike Chang, Artie, and Puck, who all Bieb-ify to impress their ladies. The ladies obviously swoon, ’cause like, Justin Bieber.
Meanwhile, Emma and Schue have to persuade Sue Sylvester not to kill herself after finding her suicide note. Getting a little dark there, Glee. They decide that joining the glee club will lift her spirits, and it succeeds. Sue dances along as they perform My Chemical Romance’s “Sing” while inexplicably dressed like lumberjacks. However, a satisfied, sweet Sue does nothing for plot development, so she decides her comeback will entail bringing down the glee club from behind enemy lines. She announces she is the new director of Oral Fixations, the glee club’s competition at Regionals.
Not much else went on this episode. Rachel and Mercedes had a diva competition but I’m pretty sure that happens every week.
Episode 14 – “Blame it on the Alcohol” – This week focused on the dangers of underage drinking, and what better way to deter young viewers from drinking than to show all of their favorite characters having so much fun doing it! Seriously, it looked like a blast. I wanted a drink the entire episode.
So let’s see, Schue gets plastered with Bieste and leaves an inappropriate voicemail which is then broadcast inappropriately at school by Sue, because these things happen in high school. Rachel has a party while her Dads are out of town because she wants people to like her and needs a excuse to wear her new frock. They get wasted on what appears to be wine coolers and play make-out games. They also do the extremely talented version of singing karaoke at a party. Rachel and Blaine share a drunk kiss and think they felt something. Apparently Blaine was just feeling the drunk burps because he feels nothing when they kiss sober. Rachel, on the other hand, constantly feels the drunk burps because she is now an alcoholic.
In order to nurse their hangovers before performing in front of the entire school, they decide to try the “hair of the dog” remedy and drink a bit more. In the hallway. At school. They perform Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok.” Again, what better way to steer kids away from alcohol than to make it sounds like the time of your life? Although Brittany is the most talented person on earth– no sarcasm intended, she’s great– she can’t quite hold it together. She and Santana vomit all over the stage– and Rachel.
So we finally get the message: don’t drink alcohol kids, because if you do, you will vomit while singing a Ke$ha song. And it will happen every time, trust me.