Hieeeeeeeeeee Creepers! Zomg ’tis so sweet to be back in y’all’s feeds once more!!! I missed your clicks! And your judgmental faces watching me scarf down a frisbee full of sushi at Basho! Honestly, why are the only seating options in there either a) make painful eye contact with strangers on the street as you try to re-learn how to effectively use chopsticks or b) stare at yourself in that jumbo-crazy mirror wall and seethe internally at all of your new semester stress zits.
Annnnnywayyy, for those of you studious lil wizards who’ve kept your noses firmly glued to your rented textbooks and MCAT prep books (that’s a thing right?) you may have missed some of the news this past week. Allow me to play ketchup:
The grand Cheese Nip in charge has been stirring up passions all across the nation. We’ve barely tipped our tiny pinky toes into his first 100 days which “historians” (a.k.a. “alternative fact scribes”) say is prime time to kick off that presidential legacy and he is delivering on many of his campaign promises. For better or for worse. But you can read all about those on every other reputable website on the net. (In case you can’t tell, yes, each of those words is clickable.)
I’m here to distract you from the news so here are some fun things!!!!!!
-Girl put that book down it’s time to GET. READ.
-Do yourself a favor and watch an ep of the Mary Tyler Moore show. The woman was an unmatched icon and her passing has left a gaping hole in our comedy lady hearts.
-The ice cream of the future goes cold on the Press Secretary of the present.
-Kim Kardashian’s memorial tweet to Obama.
–This robot that SHOOTS LASERS AT MOSQUITOS. LASERS!!!
–Something I am looking forward to testing in May.
ALSO GO PATS RIGHT!!!?? YA!!!!
Ok this has been too much. Here are tweets!!!
The Condom Fairy turned four-years-old this past Monday! Why not celebrate by putting an order in? https://t.co/sWVxAowhcm pic.twitter.com/KcGUxFe861
— BU Student Health (@BUStudentHealth) January 25, 2017
Dear god. Should we be getting our condoms from a four year old? This feels all sorts of incorrect. I’m all for contraceptive education, but according to the experts at Web MD, age four is when children learn to “correctly name at least four colors and three shapes.” Idk man.
#TerrierTip: Interested in an unpaid internship? We have options for you! https://t.co/8KSpPS3OVm
— BU CCD (@BU_CCD) January 24, 2017
Own a yacht and want a cool place to crash it? Have a bunch of gold ingots laying around that you would rather feed to a goat? Interested in paying rent on a Beacon Hill apartment that we can just fill with Pogs? We have options for you too!
Should we fund space exploration with so many problems on Earth? Come to Coffee & Conversation Friday at 3 & let us know! @BU_CAS @BU_FYI
— HowardThurmanCenter (@BUHTC) January 25, 2017
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. WE. NEED. A. SPACE. WALL. BUILD IT!!!!! MAKE EARTH GREAT AGAIN #MEGA!!!!!!!!
#Newpartnership: @BU_Tweets & @RedHatNews have forged a $5M, 5-year research arrangement promising big benefits: https://t.co/O4h33iVXbn pic.twitter.com/VIcuVRYWAf
— BU Alumni (@bualumni) January 25, 2017
Left: “Oh wow thank you so much for this glass hermit crab shell which represents academic cooperation and funding for our research”
Right: “I have two distinct chins and a penchant for thumb wars”
#FlashbackFriday Challenge Time. Retweet and we will pick one lucky winner by 2 pm of 2 free tickets for tonight's @TerrierHockey game! pic.twitter.com/X5q0UR18Nc
— Terrier Athletics Fund (@TerrierFund) January 13, 2017
Caption contest now open! Please tweet all responses to @carlysitrin and @terriersfund with #oneglove. And shhhh we know this falls outside the week timeframe. But #oneglove.
That’s all I’ve got fur you squirrels! As my third grade principal used to say every morning, “Make it a great day or not. The choice is yours.”
Byeeeeeeeeee.